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Toronto speed dating lures women with cops, firemen. When I sat down Libra Lounge on Thursday night for the Men in Uniforms charity speed dating event, I didn’t meet the chest-baring model in a fireman jacket that accompanied their webpage, but neither did I meet the cliched balding policeman with cheetos stains on his mouth and donut crumbs on his fingers. Instead, my first date of the night was a full-time fireman who was just as nervous as I was.
Turns out that he, like me, had never been to a singles event before, and laughing at our mutual discomfort became a starting point to what was a whirlwind of eight-minute dates with 10 interesting and charismatic men. This event was for heterosexual singles hosted by FastLife. According to them, eight minutes is the optimal time for a speed date because it’s just long enough that you get to know somebody beyond the basic introductions, but also short enough that the conversation doesn’t drag.
Going by the volume of the chatter around the lounge, it seemed that most people were having a good time and that some connections were being made.
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I arrived on the singles scene in with an aching heart and a lot to learn. Seemingly overnight, dating apps had shifted from the desperate domain of the overs to the new normal. Every man and his dog were on Tinder — or every man and his sedated tiger, all dumb grins and flexed muscles bulging out of Bintang singlets.
Initially hesitant, I got into the swing of it soon enough; window-shopping for boys from the comfort of your couch sure has its benefits, and amongst the beefed-up bodybuilders and BDSM buffs, there seemed to be a few potential suitors. After all, I have a clean record, wide smile and impeccable hygiene. The reality was rife with rejection.
I met men who seemed keen but never texted again; men who only wanted sex; men who were rude to waiters red flag ; men who flirted with waiters double red flag. It was perhaps the most profound two words ever uttered to me online: app fatigue.